I'll admitt I am not doing well right now. About a month ago my world began to unravel. I am not ready to spill my guts about everything to the world but if you pray then do so for me and my family. Through this experience I am leaning on the Lord and probably becoming stronger spiritually then I have been in awhile. I do trust Jesus to take care of me even if I can't see what the next few months hold.

So I thought I should blog since I haven't in awhile, but then I realized the things on my mind may be too raw for the world wide web. In short this week I am learning that although I am married that doesn't mean that everything my husband does or doesn't do is about me. Yes most of said things effect me and our family but his struggles are his. As a partnership we should be able to face things together but some struggles have been there for so long it is hard for him to loosen his grip of them and let me or GOd even in to help. My prayer is as he seeks Christ in his crises he will learn to let me help him, learn that no one can do it alone and in a marriage we need to do it together. My prayer for me is that I love him enough to give him what he needs and that I don't get frustrated and take actions that I can't take back. If you pray, and you love me at all, please join me in these prayers.

Here are a couple of pics of my husband Kelly and our daughter Olivia. I wasn't with them, but they were having a blast at zilker park in austin. It was her first time to ride the train.

I had a you gotta laugh so you don't cry mommy moment. Lucas and I were traveling to San Marcos from Port Lavaca and I heard him grunting away. We were in between towns so it was safer to just wait until we got to the next town to change him and well it may have been the wrong decision. I opened the door and my beautiful son smiled at me through a poopy stained face. He had poop everywhere. It was so gross. I didn't even know where to start in the cleaning process. I just laughed and laughed. It was funny! I just hope he didn't eat too much of it and gets sick. But you know he had to have eaten some of it....whew!

rambling......

So I commute to work....about 2 1/2 hours from my home. It sounds really bad, but it isn't that bad. I like being able to have a minute to myself to pray, think, sing, or just zone out. It really isn't that often either. For instance I came in tonight at 6pm and will get off around 8pm tomorrow. So that is really two shifts instead of one. On those days it really isn't that bad. People ask how long I will keep it up. I don't know. Maybe awhile. We really need the money and I can't really ask for a better job. I mean I get to be home with my kiddos, yes I do have to leave them at the daycare on occasion but mostly there dad and me take care of them, and I get to help people every once in awhile.

A typical day for me and my kids is we wake up around 8am, everybody gets fed , bathed, and dressed, we clean something...there is always something to clean when you have two little ones, then we go to the ymca to workout, we usually eat lunch with daddy, and then go back home. THe kids take naps if I am lucky they do so at the same time. We eat something, clean some more, and then daddy comes home and we have dinner and watch tv, bed time is around 9pm and I turn in shortly afterwards. I don't know why I wrote all that, I guess I thought someone might care.

We haven't found a church yet. It is even harder to do when you know that nothing will be like what you had in a city that you love. But we have been called to Podunkville for a purpose. I think part of my purpose is to be somewhere to reset, somewhere where people don't have expectations, a place where you sink or swim and there is no one to know who you where or who you could be. You know being around people you've known forever and ministered with forever sometimes makes it easy to get comfortable even lazy at times. I need this time to grow as a leader, to dream, time for my husband and me to depend on each other and grow in our love for each other. I hope that we find a church soon. We want to look at two more churches and then pick one. I work every third sunday so it has been a slow process.

This month at my gym they have a contest going on. YOu and a partner go up against another team and whoever gets the most point, earned by different forms of working out, gets a gift certificate to a restaurant. It has been fun trying to win. We got past the first week, but the 2nd week is close. THe problem is next week my partner will be gone for spring break so the weight falls on me. I can't work out that much, mostly because I can't put the kids in the tiny nursery for that long. So as much as I really want to win it ain't gonna happen.

that is it for now

Here is a pic of my little prince at three months. He is now 7 months and I don't have my own computer up and going with internet so I can't get more recent pics!!

This is my beautiful girl. It is hard to believe she is now two years old. 12-24-06

Many of my far away friends may not be aware that my family recently moved to Port Lavaca, TX ie PoDunkVille. It is so different from Austin. But I am adjusting. I joined the YMCA and have been more faithful at working out. Our home is on the water so I can see the ocean from my backyard and the stars are bright and beautiful out here. I have decided to keep my job in San Marcos, a 2 hour drive, so we are still working thru childcare. This week the kids and I stayed with a friend here in Austin for 3 days but man I miss Kelly. I think we are going to have to figure something else out. We are dreeding the whole church search. Mostly we love our current church www.thewellinaustin.com if you're curious. No church will measure up to home. But we will inbrace change full heartedly.

peace out