Today I went and visited the Bastrop and Austin women's shelters with my coworkers. It was very interesting. We are looking at different shelters in the area to get some ideas about our own brand spankin new shelter we are going to build in the next year. Bastrop's shelter is very similar to our shelter in san marcos, accept for the transitional housing that they have. It is so cool. After staying in the shelter for up to 2 months clients can move into transitional housing which is income based. It is basically apartments, efficienties, 1 and 2 bedroom . They can stay there for up to two years. Man that is just the neatest thing. Women that leave abusive situations often have a lot of obsticles in front of them. The advocate said that most of the time they aren't all the way full. Now the transitional housing in austin is always full. It is much harder to get in. you kinda have to be in the right place at the right time.

The austin shelter is huge. It has two stories and what they call clusters. A cluster is a group of 5 families that each share a kitchen and living area and 2 or 3 bathrooms. In smaller shelters everyone shares 1 kitchen living area and several baths. They also provided services like medical and dental. They have a grant that pays for doctors to come on campus once a week. This is especially nice for clients that have phycological issues because the doctor can proscribe meds. It takes a while to get into shole creek and emergancy rooms aren't a good source of continual care. This way theoredically a doctor can see this person once a week for a month or two. That is amazing. Not to mention the dental care for children. Lets face it medical care is so exspensive for everyone. I was very impressed with this. In San antonio they also have this service available, but even non residential clients qualify.

San antonio was a huge shelter. THey have a school on campus, computer labs, medical care, play area that opened to a playground and transitional housing. The security at all of these shelters are incredible.

My favorite thing about New Braunfels was they housed client's animals and men. Both are not the norm at shelters.

Our shelter is older than the others. It is open and homey. We have room for improvement and by looking at these other places we will be the best in Texas. In comparision to these other shelters I think our security could use some improvements, but the way our rooms are set up suite style with a bath in between each room and lots of open space is better than the other shelters.

That is just some ramblings....

I am tired. My body,mind, emotional part, and spirit are weary. I am not going to get into specifics....

Have you ever forgiven someone, but still hurt by it. Actions do echo. It is like if someone shot you with a gun in the arm and you somehow forgave that but your arm still hurt. This is how I felt yesterday. Then something happened. Don't ask me what, but somehow I let it go and stopped focusing on myself so much and it doesn't really hurt anymore. I mean I can reinact the whole thing in my mind and relive the hurt, but it really isn't there now. NOt that it happens or should happen like that for everyone, but for me it did.

I think it is easier to forgive someone for hurting you then it is for them to forgive themselves sometimes. Espcecially someone you love. I remember one time I was watching a friends baby and we had an accident of sorts. The baby was fine...crying a little but no bruises or cuts or anything. The parents were like well she looks fine, it is ok, but man I broke down and was so upset because I almost hurt there baby. Luckily the kid is fine and life goes on...but you know what i mean. God desires forgiveness. Of eachother, of one's self, and from Him. Guilt is not of GOd. When you are in the middle of it though it is just hard to forgive yourself of somethings. I think we all have something. If satan can attack you at that place man he can do some serious damage. What is the answer? I guess trusting that God loves you no matter what. People you fail but nothing changes how God adores you! NOTHING! He doesn't want you to own that guilt. He wants you to hand it to him and trust him with your heart. He wants you to confess and start living the abundant life he promises! He wants good things for you not bondage. Allow yourself to be free. It feels good and it is ok to feel good.

I am just rambling. I hope I made sense.